My journey with God: Episode 3

Meeting God or the Big dude:

In the previous episode I explained how I came to understand my negative feelings about God (from the map of consciousness) and how I set myself in a quest to find my own truth about God and set my records straight with him. As I mentioned, I started reading many self-help, spiritual and new-age religions. I read many interesting books and learned about many interesting ideas that I will possibly speak about in future posts. One of the books I came across had a catchy title: E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality by Pam Grout. 

I mentioned in my personal introduction that I have a PhD in science. If you ask me what was the most thing I liked or had fun at during my PhD? I would say it was the fact that I was able to ask questions and then do several experiments to answer those questions BY MYSELF, without being told what was the answer and mainly without being forbidden to look for answers because it was a sin and what’s not. Also, since my bachelor and master degrees (Chemistry) were on totally different subject than my PhD degree (Molecular Biology and Pathology), I was lucky that I didn’t have the deep knowledge of the subject I was studying that others have acquired by studying the same subject throughout their university degrees.

You may wonder and ask, Lucky!! Why you think you were lucky to have less knowledge than others?

My answer is that my lack of knowledge made me like a clean sponge. I was clean from bias, prejudice and contaminants of previous knowledge but ready to absorb every bit of this new knowledge with the highest capacity I could. In addition, having biases built through previous knowledge primes us to predict outcomes and prevent us from accepting any results that do not fit our preferred predicted outcomes. In my case, I was doing experiments, observing the results and try to understand what they meant from the point of view of the cells I was doing experiments on. I was thinking “The cells are behaving this way because they wanted to tell me something. It is my task to understand what they want to tell me, not to force them do what I want them to do”.

Back to the book by Pam Grout; the title has all the key words (Do-it-yourself, experiments, prove, create) to catch my eyes and my attention. So I started reading the book and oh how I enjoyed all the experiments I have done from that book.

The first experiment in the book was to address the question: Does God (Pam calls it the FP; the Field of Infinite Possibilities) exist?

Depending on your beliefs, God could be called the Force (If you are a fan of Star Wars or was it Star Trek?), the Universe, the Big dude, the Tao (from ancient Chinese philosophy), the FP (as Pam calls it), Higher Self, Higher Consciousness, Allah (in Islam) or Prana (in Hindu philosophy). You can even make a name for it if you wish. That doesn’t matter at all. I personally use “God or Allah” as I grew up using these names and now I added “the Universe” to the list of names I like to use.

The experiment was easy enough. Ask God to give you a sign (a good and clear sign) that he exists and give him a time limit to show you the sign. That night I asked to receive a sign that will make me feel happy, as I was feeling lost and depressed at the time, and asked for the sign to be clear that it is from him and gave a 24hrs deadline. I remember that next day was a very cold December day. I left my apartment headed to the bookstore (Indigo or Chapters in Montreal) to look for books to read and buy. This has been my habit for the past couple of months.

As I was walking, I heard happy music and I followed the sound until I reached its source in front of a Church (Jesus Christ Church, rue St. Catherine, Montreal). To my pleasant surprise, there were a group of girls, dressed up in wide skirts and were performing a group dance in front of the church in that cold evening, while people were passing by. I stood up there watching as a huge smile lit up my face (Like kids, I love all sorts of dance and acrobatic shows. They just make me happy). At the end of the show they gave me a card.

That day I kept grinning from ear to ear. I was very ecstatic that God/the Universe answered my question and communicated with me exactly the way I wanted. He sent me somewhere where I can see something that will make me happy and made it clear that it was a sign sent from him by the fact that it was done in front of a church.

You may think that it was silly of me to believe in this to be a sign from God and that I am fooling myself by believing God exists because of it. Maybe what you think is right and maybe I am being silly and foolish. But I honestly don’t care. I know what I felt in my heart, the ecstasy of knowing that I am not alone in this world and that I am being heard and answered. The happiness I felt for knowing that I can speak to this entity anytime and be answered by it even for the most trivial stuff. The peacefulness I felt for knowing that I can trust and depend on something higher than myself for help when I need it the most. I have been living in Canada for the past 10 years all alone without any family support (psychological or otherwise). I may have friends but all everyone is busy with their lives and their families, especially at the time of the holiday season. I didn’t have anyone to call a family, neither anyone to completely trust or depend on their support all the time, every time and any time. If you haven’t felt that type of loneliness, I am really happy for you and I would have envied you a little bit. But now, I will only be happy for you and will not envy you because I have someone to keep me company in the darkest of my dark nights and in the happiest of my happy days. If I am fooling myself to believe in these feelings, so be it. It is a fact that even in science placebo (fake) treatment sometimes work better than real drugs for patients, regardless of the severity of the disease.

Finally, I hope you are still interested to read my next experimental results in the next episode 😉

To be continued…

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